Help Me

I have envisioned myself screaming HELP ME, in so many different ways. Whenever I felt like this in the past, I thought I could just shake it off… SOOOOO WRONG. Mere thoughts of screaming turned into full blown pity parties in my room, I was the only one in attendance. Def not a fun party. If for some reason you think I’m lying, let me assure you, THEY ARE NOT FUN!

I have been through the process of examining self and some of the things I’ve found have not been pretty! In my last blog, I shared how my walls were stopping me from truly living life and loving others. (If you haven’t read it click HERE!)

I’m still in the process of taking down my walls, brick by brick. Through the process, I’ve learned how bad I am at asking for help. I may be able to scream it at the top of my lungs in my room but I can barely whisper it when in front of others. I felt as though asking for help was a sign of weakness. I now know that is not the case! Asking for help shows just how strong you are.

I’m learning in order to remove the wall I’ve built sooner than later I need more hands or a bulldozer. Both of which I can’t have without help from others! Love is a breaking force! It takes me loving others AND allowing others to love me for walls to fall!

Can I be honest? When others start getting their hands on my bricks it can get irritating. Even though I know I need help I feel like screaming LEAVE ME ALONE! The bricks signify my beliefs, my past hurts, past experiences, past failures or triumphs. It is not fun when people begin to pull away all you have ever known. But it needs to be done.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying to let any and everyone help you with this process. The people you trust, that are in your life with purpose, are people that you need to ask for help! Ask them questions like: “what can I change about myself in this area?” or “what way could I have done this better?”.

As a Christian, the first person I had to learn to be open with was Abba. In my weakness, He is strong! I had to realize that His love was and is for me! I had to embrace all that He was doing. I’m so thankful that I did. It’s allowed me to receive love from others as well.

The breaking down of walls is a process and it’s one that I’m learning to embrace! Life is a journey. Every season looks different. If I continue to hold on to the past I’m stopping myself from everything that is coming in the future. Surround yourself with people who will help you pull down your walls and who you can return the favor too.

Love is a breaking force! Allow yourself to be loved.

Peace and Love

-Bosa