I’m going to be brutally honest with you and share that I have been going through some personal challenges lately. Personal challenges that are very near and dear to my heart. I would like to say that I’ve been completely strong through them all, but the truth is I haven’t. I’ve failed quite a bit. So much so, I’ve been struggling to allow God to hold me. Why? Because I’m silly. One day I literally heard myself saying, “God, I’m the worst.” The worst because I know what to do… I know that the only way to feel comforted and at peace is through him, but yet again I found myself fighting the obvious. As quickly as those words slipped from my lips my heart heard him say, “No. Not the worst.”
Guys, I’m not perfect. I’m the furthest thing from it. I never want you to read anything I write and feel like I have it all figured out… that my life is peachy… or that I always listen to God’s voice the first time. No. I am not perfect. I still struggle with wounds and disappointments. I still struggle to allow God to do his thing sometimes. If you’re finding that you’re in the same boat… the only thing I can point you to is God’s incomprehensible grace. Know that even in our moments of weakness, where we may feel that we’re the worst, God sees otherwise. He will always love us… even at our “worst.”
“Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.” –Romans 5:6-8 MSG
There’s a song I’m sure you’ve heard and if not, know that its words are more than fitting and have touched me deeply. Please listen and allow it to be your prayer. Allow God to touch you. Allow him to hold your wounds… even if it hurts.