Fear

There are times in life where I find that I know exactly what needs to be done. I know the EXACT move I need to win the game but for some reason I don’t take it! Have you ever found yourself in that situation? You could end whatever season you are walking through with just a little bit more (insert thing here).

I’ve been going through a process of figuring out why I don’t make the winning move. I’ve finally come to the place where I can pinpoint the one thing that has been holding me back. It is not quite as powerful as love but when blinded by it, you may think it is.

F E A R . . .

When you let it, fear will cripple you. Fear will stop you from taking the winning move. Fear will stop you from walking through doors that were designed just for you. Fear will affect the way, you see the world. Fear will keep you stagnant. It will have you feeling trapped.

I’ve written a little about fear before but I want to address it head on today!

I’ve been in places of leadership most of my life. I don’t think leadership is just a position. I believe leadership is a disposition. We are ALL leaders in some way. There is someone following after us in EVERYTHING we do. It’s our decision to choose what we do with it. If you think about it that way, YOU are most definitely a leader! Anyway back to the main topic… Because of this point of view, people see me as a pretty confident person. And for the most part, I am. There are seasons in my life however, that I have been overcome by fear.

I have realized that fear stopped me from being exactly who I was called to be. I was so worried about what others may think about the way I acted, the way I dressed, the way I spoke. It’s not something that I could see immediately. It was a seed planted that took awhile to come to the surface but when it did, boy did it show! I wasn’t true to myself because I didn’t want to be labeled that “black girl”. To be very honest I always felt being the “black girl” had a negative conotation. I tried to stay away from being loud, I didn’t want to rap, I didn’t want to dance, I didn’t want to dress in color. I was so afraid of what people may think that it began to turn into self hatred. I cared more about what others thought than what I was created to be. Something in my subconcious told me because I was black and a female I most likely would be a single woman just going through the motions with no signifigance. It sounds pretty harsh but it’s true. I did not even want to start Turn My Life Up because I didn’t think anyone would take it seriously. I thought it would just be a joke or overlooked. But through times of prayer and reflection the self hatred, fear and disbelief was removed and I began to see myself the way my Father saw me.

This all stemmed from FEAR! I picked up on what people and the media were saying/joking about. “Black girls are this and black girls are that…”, I realize now that I can be whatever I was created to be. They spoke out of fear and I caught that fear. I let fear get rooted in me and the fruit of it was detrimental to my life. This may seem like a little too much but one of our core values here is transparency. We believe it brings victory! I can’t write as though these thoughts and feelings never hindered me from doing what God called me to do. I pray that this will help free others as well.

I am a black girl and I accept myself! I am learning to love exactly who I was created to be. I encourage you to do the same! No matter what it is that you don’t like about yourself! Embrace all God has put with in you. You were created on purpose! Don’t let the lies of the enemy stop you!

Peace and Love

-Bosa

Sidenote: Words are powerful! I find a lot of times we say what we want and ask for forgiveness later but don’t forget you are planting seeds! Are you planting seeds of love or of fear and hate? I have not done a good job with this but I am daily trying to get better at speaking words of life and love!