Alone

I have recently been put in a situation that separated me from my family and friends, my community, due to location. I won’t lie, it’s been difficult. At first, I went through withdrawals since those sweet people weren’t around me.

You see, I was saved in 2013 and then divinely connected to this group through a series of events. These beautiful souls truly added to my life.  They have no clue just how desperately I needed them… but the Lord did. I longed to be a part of a group with purpose and goals. People who were true followers of Jesus. I finally had others who understood my spiritual excitement because of my recent salvation. There were things that I had to share with anyone willing to listen. We would stay up late and talk scripture and truth. We would also share revelations that had occurred in our lives. It was an absolutely beautiful time. I felt connected more than I ever had in my life, when they were around. I learned what it meant to be in ‘the body of Christ,’ or so I thought.

Fast forward to, two and a half years later and I was longing for the connections I recently had.  Don’t get me wrong, when you have those type of connections with others they are permanent. We still ‘do life together’ but the inconvenience of time due to lots of traveling has not been working in my favor to be around them much. I found myself drowning some days in isolation.

I began to analyze my life and tried to find out, why I felt that I needed to connect with other followers of Jesus. That’s around the time the Lord started working on my heart. He showed me how much my eyes had been taken off of Him, because I was more focused on the fellowship with other Believers. I also realized that some of my spiritual hype was due to being inspired by others who were hyped up already and not because of my own direct relationship with the Lord.

There’s a Will Reagan song that says “I don’t want to find that I’m just dry bones”. That is truly a hard reality to accept. Even though I believed and I trusted in the Lord, there I was sitting in my room realizing I was just dry dusty bones. Now those are words I never thought I would have to face. After having such a pity party for myself, I had to get a plan to change my actions. These actions needed to match the beliefs that I knew were embedded in my heart. I made the choice to get back to reading like I used to, praying like I used to, listening to sermons on you tube like I used to, and adding a new habit of worshipping the Lord on a regular basis in my own personal time.

Honestly, I just decided to really take the scripture below to heart and start applying it to my life.

“But seek the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.” –Luke 12:31

It seems so simple to do, yet we make it soooo complicated. Since I began acting on that verse, the past few weeks have been much better. When I truly put my focus on the Lord… things started to lighten up. Challenges become easier. Situations start to have answers, and others around me began to change. My fire is igniting again! I do still find myself longing for the bond with my group of folks.

The other day I was going through my normal routine. I thought it would be just another day. Boy was I wrong! Within just a few minutes of starting my routine of 101 questions the words “but God” slipped right out of my mouth in response to a statement of healing someone had received. That big smile from ear to ear and those watery eyes looking at me were the tale tale sign that this conversation was about to shift gears.

I can’t even tell you the blessings that poured out of this beautiful elderly man’s mouth over that next hour. Testaments of God’s grace. Testaments of God’s mercy. Testaments of Jesus coming back. Scriptures that rolled off so smoothly as though he had practiced it all night before we met. Words spoken that fed my soul and refilled the fuel to my spiritual embers. I trembled in excitement and wiped tears away each time there was an increase of faith inside my heart. While he walked away, he said “The Lord showed me that I was supposed to talk with a believer today, and I believe you were the one.” My, my, my… I just can’t even tell you how much I needed that.

Then I heard this in my heart…. “all followers of Jesus are apart of the body of Christ. When you connect yourself to Jesus the rest of the body will follow.”

All this TIME!! I had been missing ‘the body of Christ,’ but didn’t realize I was missing Christ himself!! It wasn’t so much that I had lost the connection with my friends who loved the Lord. It was completely about the fact I had lost my own connection with Jesus. I had to be separated from the group of people that showed me love so I could seek after the one who loved me the most.

So with all that said… draw nearer to the Lord so He can draw nearer to you.

We are not alone… we are just so occupied with the thought of being alone that we forget, He never leaves us nor forsakes us.

God bless, TMLU family

-Jenny